Words of Wisdom – Words Matter

If there is a lesson we’ve learned over the years that keeps coming up in all situations and relationships, it’s that words matter.

On a site we follow on social media called @thedanishway, we came across this illustration and some very helpful thoughts on how we speak to our children or the children in our lives. Whether they are our own little ones or grandchildren, nieces and nephews, students or neighbors, adults can have a profound effect on children. As @thedanish way puts it, “Words are defining and leave scars or flowers within, depending on their message. Words truly matter.”

Here are 6 ideas from @thedanishway about how to speak to our children to make a positive impact:

1. Let your child hear you speak positively about them to others. Your words become their inner voice.
2. Focus on the intention behind your child’s behavior; it makes it easier for you to respond with empathy and understanding instead of scolding. “I think you wanted to do something nice for your little sister, but she was startled by the ball coming so fast.”
3. Speak nicely about others in front of your child. When you highlight the good in others, your child sees the good in them.
4. Always separate your child’s behavior from your child’s character. “I don’t approve of your behavior, but I still love you.”
5. When something is dark and difficult, highlight prior efforts that have shown courage, strength, resourcefulness, independence, etc., earlier in your child’s life or in the current situation. “I think the last time this happened, you found a way to play with them. What did you do?”
6. Children grow mentally and within with recognition of their personal traits. “It warms my heart to see how caring you are.”

Use positive, kind, and meaningful words on your child, not just when he or she is sleeping, but often and lavishly. Remember your voice now, your words, is that voice and are the words that they will hear in their heads as adults and the way you speak to them now is how they will speak to themselves. Along with all the good there is, life is still full of challenges and struggles, of disappointments and obstacles. We could all use a lot more kindness.