A Father’s Advice

In the course of a casual conversation, a young man recently told me that the best advice he ever got came from his father.  “My father told me a long time ago, ‘Remember, cheap is usually very expensive.  And free is dangerous.  You get what you pay for.'”I found this advice positively inspired!  How very true this is, you buy something cheap and you end up buying it again and again or paying to have it fixed because it breaks quickly.  And free…well there really isn’t any such thing.  Somebody has to pay one way or the other, and that is what makes “free” so dangerous. The person who has to “pay” just might be you.  A good friend’s father used to say regularly to his daughter, “There is no such thing as ‘free lunch!’ ”  My uncle used to say, “Buy the best.  You will never be disappointed.”

Years ago when Jackie and I first began our business venture together, a little shop called Chums, we sought out her father, who was a banker and businessman, for help in getting started.  One day on the telephone we had a business call with him to go over our recent progress in getting the shop open and ready for customers.  We truly had no idea what we were doing in those early days, but we were sure having fun  doing it anyway.  And as we prattled on and on to her father about every detail, we laughed out loud several times until finally Jackie blurted out “Father we are just having SO much fun!” To which he very curtly and wisely responded in a voice I can hear to this very day, “Jackie, this is not fun. This is business!”  We have recounted that line to each other more times than we can count, in an effort to remind ourselves that while we may well be enjoying whatever it is we are doing, we need to remember to take things seriously and treat our business as just that….business.

We also sought out the father of our chum, Kathy, for advice.  Mr. Good was also a very successful and trusted businessman .  He kindly met with us and gave us help, often by asking us questions that pointed out that we had a lot more homework to do to be ready to run a sucessful venture.  But he gave us some advice that has stuck with me over the years and truly made a difference in my life.  Having inquired as to whether either of us had gone to business school and received the answer that we had not, he offered this advice, “You are bound to make mistakes.  Don’t worry, that’s to be expected and it is alright.  Whatever your mistakes cost you, think of them as your tuition to business school.”  There have been innurable times since then when  I might have hestitated about doing something new and different, not acted on an opportunity, not taken a risk if it had not been for Mr. Good’s advice.  But when I thought about the idea that if I didn’t succeed at whatever it was I was trying to do, it wasn’t really a failure, but another “course” in the school of life, it changed my whole perspective and took away the element of fear that might have held me back.

Hearing about and remembering all this advice from other fathers got me thinking about what advice my own father and grandfather have given to me that is still impacting my life.  My grandfather always told us “Don’t ever make excuses for your actions or choices. The only person satisfied by an excuse, is the one giving it.”

Some of the best advice from my father,  it turns out, was advice that came from our Heavenly father.  I have very fond memories of seeing my daddy late at night sitting in his favorite chair pouring over the scriptures as he read his Bible.  His best advice to me came from Proverbs 3:5-6:

” Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths.”

Simple but so wise and profound.  This advice, taken seriously, leaves no room for fear to cripple anyone and breeds an intimacy with God that allows for direction for our lives moment by moment, step by step, through the valleys and the peaks.  How many times has a situation or opportunity been limited by my “understanding”.  Yet when I don’t allow myself to trust in that understanding, but rather acknowledge God and His love and care for me, He directs my paths and points me in the way that is best for me to go.  What wonderful advice…what a wonderful promise!

What advice has your father or someone who had that role in your life given you?  We would love to hear about it and have you share it with all our chums.  These pearls of wisdom from our fathers can only add to more love, joy and certainly more abundance in our lives!